One Last Thing Before I Go...
Ach. The clock, she laughs at me. I should check out of my hotel in about three hours and catch my 13-hour flight back home. I've been sitting here trying to work out how difficult the packing will be. It took me about an hour to pack up my things after about a week at sea.
But! The only things I unpacked yesterday were toiletries, one fresh set of clothes, and the bare essentials for modern living (two computers, and cables and chargers for five cameras and other devices). You'd think then that it'd be a mere snip to shove these things back in and then reseal the whole works but let's not forget that I engaged in a merciless consumer assault on Beijing. I'm confident that I can get it all inside my one checked bag but also aware that this hotel provides two big cloth drawstring sacks for laundry service.
Two folks on Twitter (and MacBreak Weekly) were extremely generous with their time and expertise yesterday. Richard and Bjørn have lived in Beijing for many years and brought both their intimate knowledge of the city and their fluent Mandarin to my final six hours at liberty in the city. As well as great conversation and companionship. It reminded me that you get a different view of any foreign city when, you know, you have some sort of basic knowledge of where everything is and can actually communicate effectively.
Though I must say that I'm quite pleased with the tourist/local balance to the day. I left the hotel a little before 8 with an English map and a vague plan to walk around to the back end of the Forbidden City. I had a vague interest in skipping ahead to the parts of the aforementioned City that I'd missed last week, but the real attraction was the big park behind it. Frankly, when I got there I looked to the left and saw the big line for tickets to get into the FC and then I looked to the right and saw this lush, gorgeous shady park. I immediately lost all interest in seeing the racquetball courts of the Emperor. Plus, taking photos of the outside was free.
Jingshan Park is a shady acreage blanketed in trees and footpaths. It's a magnet for tourists, but the crowds are quite manageable and by far, the vibe I got wasn't dissimilar to Boston Common on a beautiful summer weekend. That is, yup, you'll see plenty of people from Not Around Here but they appear to be outnumbered by folks from the area who came down to enjoy a Lovely Day In The Park. If you have "I want to take pictures of exercise and dance classes" you will check both items off of your list here.
You've already seen an iPhone snap from the top of the park. My little Eyewitness Travelguide informs me that the huge hill that dominates the park is made from the dirt removed from the Forbidden City when all of its canals were dug. This image of your correspondent will give you another sense of the great height, the commanding view, and the fact that Ihnatko's skills at self-portraiture are not to be mocked:
But Richard and Bjørn were waiting for me at some place called "Yashow Clothing Market." As usual, when I jumped into a cab I tapped my iPhone, enlarged an area of a Safari window, and showed the driver the name of my destination written in Chinese. It turns out to be a major destination for tourists
(Aside: sightings of Westerners are rare, even in mega-touristy places like the Forbidden City. Even after four or five days in Beijing, when I think "tourists" I think "Oh, like the mix of French and British and Southern people I sometimes see at American museums and the like." Nope. I simply haven't had enough experience in Asia to immediately spot the difference between a local, and someone from the country, and someone from Honk Kong, and even the Thais and Koreans escape my immediate discernment at a certain distance. So whereas back in Boston I can pick out the Folks Who Ain't From Around Here a mile away -- even those who simply Aren't New Englanders are a quick tag-and-release -- the brain keeps telling me "I'm the only tourist in this whole area." No, no, no.)
...thanks to its many, many clothing stalls and the fact that they've (shall we say) Open-Sourced the designs and logos of all major labels. This facility is so committed to the reform of outdated copyright laws that three different dudes offered me bootleg DVDs during the short walk from the street to the entrance.
Isn't it wonderful? Beijing is one city where they haven't forgotten that Service is the key to repeat business. Back home, I have to pump my own gas but here, folks bring your movies to you.
Also, offers of fake Rolexes and sexual favors. The latter is so dopey as to be almost amusing. An extremely pretty and professionally-dressed young woman approached me in a shopping mall and "invited me to get some coffee" (intentional implication: there will be sex; unintentional implication: there will be no sex, just a huge bill for three cups of instant coffee and the promise that legs will be broken if said bill isn't paid. Which was kind of OK (one polite wave-off and she happily moved on). But this guy near my hotel desperately needed to be punched. I intentionally didn't learn phrases like "No, thank you" because there are subtle shadings to even the simplest of words in every language. Even in English, one "no" means "please make me a better offer" and another means "**** off and get the hell away from me."
I wish I'd learned the latter, though. The usual "Make no eye contact, do not slow down, shake head and wave him off" thing didn't work. Neither did putting on an angry face and barking "NO." When he ran up and stuck a business card in my shirt pocket -- the pocket that happened to have about $40 in Yuan and my passport -- I wheeled around, yanked the card from my pocket, and flung it directly at him.
...Hitting him, accidentally but happily, right in the face.
I kept walking and this time, he realized that maybe I would not be giving him $100 to walk away and pretend he would be coming back with a girl.
But I digress. First, we went to the Beijing Apple Store, which was nearby. I was surprised to find it; I could have sworn that I'd performed a search of apple.com/retail to see if there was one in the area and come up dry. But apparently it opened just before the Olympics.
Boy, what I would have given for one of those tee shirts! But I have friends who work in US Apple Stores and I know that it really isn't an item meant to be given away.
Next, an unbeatable meal at a terribly authentic restaurant in a part of town cluttered with embassies. Yes, go figure: great bars and restaurants are near foreign embassies. I'm amazed they stay in business, what with how focused those workers are on maintaining world peace and figuring out new ways of evading every local traffic and parking law.
Then, a mess of shopping. There was one souvenir that I coveted: a fake iPhone. Richard knew of a whole marketplace for shady goods and soon I found myself at the Ladies Marketplace, astonished at the amount and range of counterfeit merchandise. It was just like that "Simpsons" episode: if you want to buy a "SUMWASG" phone (with the distinctive letters of the "SAMSUNG" logo slightly mixed and flipped) or an "iPone"...this is the place.
But some of these iPhones are stunningly close objects. I wanted a souvenir and a curiosity (and fodder for a column or two), so I bought a midrange "iPhone 3G" for 480 yuan that looks almost perfect...all the way down to the "Designed by Apple in California" boilerplate on the back. The only real "tell" is the screen's aspect ratio: it's 3x4, instead of the iPhone's 1.5:1. For almost double, I could have bought one that had the right screen and what appeared to be a much peppier processor.
Note the stylus. Its touchscreen needs a fingernail, not a fingertip. The "better" one used the same kind of touch sensor as the iPhone.
(More on the iFaux in a future column.)
Then we went on to a more legitimate electronics market. I bought a whole bunch of Awesome Way-Cool USB devices, the likes of which I hadn't seen before. I'd post pictures, but some of these things are gifts for folks back home.
We ended the day at a quaint little Chinese coffeehouse. I was captivated by the signage and asked Richard and Bjørn if the name could even be properly translated. They confirmed that much of it was based on metaphor and traditional Asian imagery, but the a fair approximation would be "The young stag or buck who walks among the stars."
What a fantastic day. I'd been up for 13 hours and walking around for half the time. I got back to my hotel at the perfect time: not exhausted, but happy to relax for a bit. At 9 I engaged in a bit of quiet contemplation I concluded that there was nothing shameful about taking dinner at one of the hotel restaurants: an Outback Steak House.
I figured that I should start to get me stomach re-acquainted with Western food. And as soon as I started thinking about a thick, greasy burger I felt that I needed to do something about it.
I'm coming home with precisely the right kind of souvenirs. It's hard to integrate a huge plastic laughing dragon wall clock into your lifestyle. But every time I use this USB hub (wait until you see it; you'll want one), or dry my hands with one of the four handtowels I bought in a supermarket. or wake up and look at the awesome digital clock I got at Loft in Fukuoka...good memories of great times.
I shant be bringing home my last bottle of Chinese Coke. That, I shall drink here in my room. Final judgment: none of the Asian Cokes were as good as the one I had in Belize (the Tiger Woods of the "Best Coke In The World" competition). But the Hong Kong one was best. I'm guessing that the others have been sweetened just a bit too heavily. Only the HK Coke had that spicy snap that I associate with The Perfect Article.
I've been gone for (good Lord) twelve days. I'm reminded that ten to fourteen days is pretty much my limit for travel. I'm genuinely a bit sad that I'm leaving China just as I'm starting to get a handle on the place. But the bungee is definitely pulling me back. I find that it's best to come home before your friends and your family have a chance to notice the improvement created by your absence.
Okay. A Coke needs to be drunk and a bag needs to be packed. I have a huge quantity of photos and I'll be posting albums to Flickr in the coming week. Until then, a few final quickies from my last day in Beijing:
Oh, and as usual...the Holsteins say "Hi."
Do check out <a href="www.zhaopianblog.com.cn">Richard Ford's blog</a>. He's an IT guy by day but an absolutely marvelous street photographer.
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