With a sweep of the hand he effects a dramatic voice: “What do you believe? Well, we believe that all soup is special and that every third Sunday after the fourth Sunday after the 12th, we get together and sing ‘Hallo, halla’ and we bang on the ground, put soup in a bowl and all these endless things. Then we throw sandwiches at the walls and pray for more sandwiches . . .

Merely the latest example of the world's ongoing ecclesiastical shift towards sandwich-based faith. (Preceded, of course, by Saint Zevon's final directive to His followers before riding the great torpedo roll into the heavens: "Enjoy every sandwich.")